How Should Christians Treat the LGBTQ Community? What Does the Bible Say?

I think there is a conversation we desperately need to have in the Church, and it is about the way we treat people in the LGBTQ community.

Let me begin by saying something that I wish did not need to be said in the first place. No, God does not hate gay men, lesbian women, transgender people, or anyone else in the LGBTQ community, and neither should we.

Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, some Christians have become so focused on condemning what they believe is sinful that they have forgotten how to love the very people they are trying to reach. We preach about the love of Jesus on Sunday, talk about how His grace is available to everyone, and tell people that God loves them. Yet sometimes, when a gay man, a lesbian woman, or a transgender person walks into our church, that same love suddenly seems to come with conditions.

And I find that deeply troubling.

How can we proclaim that God loves everybody while making certain people feel as though they are the exception? How can we invite someone to experience the love of Christ while treating them as though their presence is something we should be ashamed of? And perhaps most importantly, how can we expect people to want to know the Jesus we preach about when the way we treat them seems to contradict everything we say about Him?

John 3:16 tells us that God loved the world and gave His Son. Romans 5:8 reminds us that Christ died for us while we were still sinners. I find that second passage particularly beautiful because it reminds us that God’s love did not begin after we became obedient, understood Scripture, or had everything figured out. His love was already being demonstrated toward us when we were still far from Him.

But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

And yet, sometimes, we expect other people to become everything we think they should be before we are willing to extend even the smallest amount of kindness toward them.

Now, before we go any further, I want to make something clear. I believe the Bible teaches that sexual intimacy belongs within marriage between a man and a woman, and I therefore hold the traditional Christian understanding that same-sex sexual relationships fall outside that design. I am not saying that Christians should abandon what they sincerely believe Scripture teaches simply because those beliefs may be unpopular.

Genesis 2:24 describes marriage as the union of a man and a woman, and Jesus refers to this passage when teaching about marriage in Matthew 19:4-6. Romans 1:26-27 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 are also passages historically understood by many Christians as addressing same-sex sexual behavior. Although Christians differ in their interpretation of these texts, my understanding of Scripture leads me to the traditional position.

At the same time, questions about transgender identity are not identical to questions about same-sex sexual relationships, and these passages do not directly address every contemporary question concerning gender identity. We should be careful not to confuse those subjects or pretend that every question has been answered by a passage addressing something different.

But here is what I want us to understand: believing that someone’s choices are inconsistent with our understanding of Scripture does not give us permission to hate, humiliate, or mistreat them.

And I believe this is where some Christians have lost their way. We have confused standing firmly on biblical truth with standing against people themselves. We have become so concerned about correcting others that we sometimes forget the same Bible also commands us to love our neighbors, exercise humility, demonstrate mercy, and treat people with dignity.

We cannot use one biblical teaching as an excuse to disobey another.

Jesus Never Asked Us to Hate the People We Believe Are Living in Sin

One of the things I love most about studying the life of Jesus is paying attention to the people He chose to spend time with. In Matthew 9:10-13, we read about Jesus eating with tax collectors and people whom the religious community regarded as sinners. The Pharisees questioned why He would associate with such people, almost as though sharing a table with them would somehow make Him guilty of their wrongdoing.

But Jesus did not distance Himself from those people simply because the religious leaders disapproved of them. Instead, He reminded the Pharisees that He had come to call sinners.

And I believe there is an important lesson in that.

Jesus did not need to approve of everything someone did in order to treat them with compassion. He could encounter people whose choices or beliefs differed from His teaching without treating them as though they were unworthy of His attention, kindness, or presence.

We see something similar in Luke 19:1-10, when Jesus encounters Zacchaeus, a tax collector who was despised by many people around him. Jesus chooses to stay at his house, and the crowd begins complaining about His association with someone they regard as sinful. Yet that encounter becomes a turning point in Zacchaeus’s life, as he responds by committing to generosity and restitution.

What stands out to me is that Jesus did not ignore wrongdoing, but neither did He allow other people’s contempt to determine how He treated Zacchaeus. There was both truth and compassion in His approach.

And sometimes, I wonder whether we have forgotten that.

We can become so focused on identifying what we believe is wrong with someone’s life that we overlook the person standing in front of us. Instead of getting to know them, listening to their experiences, or simply treating them with kindness, we immediately begin thinking about everything we believe they need to change.

But people are more than the things we agree or disagree with them about.

A gay man is not simply a theological debate waiting to happen. A lesbian woman is more than the person she is attracted to. A transgender person is not simply a disagreement about gender waiting to be discussed. They are human beings with families, friendships, dreams, struggles, disappointments, and experiences that have shaped their lives.

Genesis 1:27 teaches that humanity was created in God’s image. That dignity does not disappear because someone’s beliefs or life differ from ours. James 3:9-10 also gives us something important to consider. James challenges the inconsistency of using our tongues to bless God while cursing people who are made in His likeness.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Think about how powerful that is. We cannot claim to honor the Creator while using our words to degrade the people He created.

And when Jesus was asked about the greatest commandment, He spoke about loving God and loving our neighbors as ourselves (Matthew 22:37-40). He did not tell us to love only those whose lives we understand or whose convictions match our own.

And he said to him, You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

In Luke 10:25-37, Jesus further challenges narrow ideas about who deserves our care through the parable of the Good Samaritan. The Samaritan helps a wounded man whom others have passed by, demonstrating mercy through his actions. The lesson is not that we should spend our lives deciding which people qualify as neighbors, but that we should become people who show mercy.

And yes, that includes showing mercy, kindness, and respect to gay men, lesbian women, and transgender people.

You cannot claim to love God while treating people created in His image as though they are undeserving of basic human dignity.

We Cannot Expect Unbelievers to Follow a Faith They Have Not Embraced

Here is something else that I believe Christians sometimes forget: we cannot approach people who do not believe in Jesus as though they have already agreed to follow every biblical teaching.

Think about it. If someone does not believe in God, does not recognize the Bible as their spiritual authority, and has never committed to following Jesus, why are we surprised when they do not make decisions according to Christian teachings?

It would be like expecting someone who has never learned a language to speak it fluently and then becoming angry because they cannot understand what you are saying. You are demanding an outcome without recognizing that they have not even accepted the foundation on which your expectations are built.

And sometimes, instead of introducing people to Jesus, we begin by giving them a list of everything we believe they need to change.

We tell a gay man what we believe about his relationships. We tell a lesbian woman why we disagree with same-sex marriage. We tell a transgender person how we think they should understand their identity. And only after all of that do we begin talking about Jesus, as though conforming outwardly to our religious expectations must come before someone can even learn about Him.

But is that really how we are supposed to approach people?

One of the clearest passages on this subject is 1 Corinthians 5:12-13, where Paul distinguishes the Church’s responsibility toward people within the Christian community from its relationship with those outside it. He questions why believers would make judging outsiders their responsibility when God is the One who judges those outside the Church.

Now, Paul is addressing a particular situation involving serious wrongdoing within the Corinthian church. His words should not be taken to mean Christians can never discuss moral beliefs with unbelievers. But they do establish an important distinction: the responsibility of a Christian community to address conduct among its own members is not the same as expecting people outside the faith to submit to its internal standards.

And I believe we need to remember that distinction more often.

In John 16:8, Jesus explains that the Holy Spirit will convict the world concerning sin, righteousness, and judgment. This is important because genuine spiritual conviction is not something we can manufacture through humiliation, pressure, or endless arguments.

We can share the gospel, explain Scripture, answer questions, and speak honestly about what we believe. But we cannot force someone to have faith, nor can we produce genuine repentance by making them feel ashamed of their existence.

Second Timothy 2:24-25 makes this even clearer. Paul teaches that the Lord’s servant should not be quarrelsome but should be kind to everyone, patient, and gentle when correcting those who disagree. He also recognizes that repentance and a knowledge of the truth ultimately depend on God’s work.

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth.

Notice that Scripture does not tell us to become aggressive, insulting, or humiliating when someone disagrees with us. Even when correction is appropriate, the manner in which we offer it matters.

And I think we need to be careful not to confuse our responsibility to share the gospel with a supposed responsibility to control people’s lives.

I also want to clarify that being gay, lesbian, or transgender does not automatically mean someone is not a Christian or does not have the Holy Spirit. There are people within the LGBTQ community who sincerely identify as followers of Jesus, pray, study Scripture, and seek to live according to their understanding of God’s Word. Christians disagree about how particular biblical teachings relate to their experiences and relationships.

Although I hold the traditional understanding of biblical sexual ethics, I do not believe I should presume to know everything about someone’s relationship with God simply because I know their sexual orientation or gender identity.

For those who do not share our faith, however, we should remember that discipleship begins with knowing Christ. And for those who already identify as Christians, disagreements about Scripture should be approached through thoughtful teaching, sincere conversation, and humility rather than insults or assumptions about someone’s motives.

Our responsibility is to represent Christ faithfully, not to appoint ourselves as the Holy Spirit in someone else’s life.

Why Do We Condemn Certain Sins While Making Excuses for Others?

There is another issue that I believe we desperately need to address, and that is how selectively we sometimes approach sin in the Church.

I have noticed how easily certain sexual behaviors become the subject of passionate sermons, public condemnation, and endless conversations, while other sins receive very little attention. We may spend an entire sermon discussing homosexuality while barely addressing pride, gossip, greed, dishonesty, adultery, cruelty, or unforgiveness.

And I cannot help but wonder why.

Why is it that someone can be known for constantly humiliating others, spreading rumors, or treating people cruelly and still be considered a respected Christian, while a gay man or lesbian woman may be made to feel unwelcome before anyone has even spoken to them?

Why do we sometimes tolerate arrogance in the name of boldness, excuse hatred as righteous anger, and overlook unkindness because the person demonstrating it knows how to quote Scripture?

Romans 3:23 reminds us that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. That truth should make us humble rather than encourage us to look down on other people.

And in Matthew 7:3-5, Jesus confronts the hypocrisy of being deeply concerned about the speck in another person’s eye while ignoring the log in our own. He was not teaching us that wrongdoing should never be addressed. He was challenging the attitude of correcting others while refusing to examine ourselves.

Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.

But I want to bring our attention to another passage that I think is especially important.

In Romans 2:1-4, Paul confronts those who judge others while practicing wrongdoing themselves. He reminds his readers of God’s kindness, patience, and forbearance, and how His kindness is intended to lead people toward repentance.

I find that so powerful because sometimes, we act as though the harsher we are toward people, the more likely they are to change. Yet Scripture repeatedly calls us to examine ourselves, exercise patience, and remember the kindness God has shown us.

And it is not as though the Bible only addresses sexual morality.

In Galatians 5:19-23, Paul contrasts the works of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit. Alongside sexual immorality, he identifies things such as jealousy, fits of anger, divisions, and envy. He then describes the fruit of the Spirit through qualities such as love, patience, kindness, gentleness, and self-control.

So I want us to consider something. If someone claims to be defending biblical truth but constantly demonstrates hatred, cruelty, uncontrolled anger, and contempt for others, shouldn’t we also be concerned about whether their conduct reflects the fruit of the Spirit?

If we believe that God’s commands concerning sexual morality matter, then they should matter regardless of whether the people involved are gay or straight. If we believe that sexual intimacy belongs within marriage, then we should be willing to teach that consistently in relation to heterosexual Christians as well.

We cannot strongly condemn same-sex sexual relationships while casually excusing adultery or sex outside marriage simply because those behaviors are more familiar within our communities.

And please understand that I am not saying every sin has identical consequences or that Christians should avoid teaching about sexuality. I am saying that our commitment to biblical truth should not become selective depending on whose behavior we find easiest to criticize.

James 2:1-9 warns believers against showing favoritism, particularly by treating wealthy people better than poor people. Although the passage concerns economic status, it teaches an important principle about partiality. We should examine whether our communities extend dignity and welcome inconsistently because of who someone is or how much we approve of them.

And perhaps this is something we need to examine more honestly in our churches.

Sometimes, the sins we condemn most loudly are the ones we personally struggle with the least. It can become very easy to feel righteous when we constantly measure ourselves against people whose experiences or struggles differ from our own.

But the purpose of following Jesus is not to become experts at identifying everybody else’s shortcomings while refusing to confront our own.

We all need God’s grace, and we all need to take seriously what He teaches us.

Loving Someone Does Not Mean Agreeing With Everything They Do

I want us to understand something because I believe it is one of the biggest misunderstandings in conversations like this.

Love and agreement are not the same thing.

You can love someone without sharing every belief they hold. You can maintain a friendship with someone whose values differ from yours. You can treat someone with dignity even when you would make different decisions in your own life.

We do this all the time in other areas of life. You probably have friends who disagree with you about politics, finances, parenting, or other important issues. You may disagree strongly with their decisions, but that does not automatically mean you stop caring about them or begin treating them as less deserving of respect.

Why, then, do we sometimes behave as though disagreements about sexuality require us to abandon kindness altogether?

I believe some Christians have become afraid that showing genuine love toward a gay man or a lesbian woman will somehow be interpreted as agreeing with same-sex relationships. And because of that fear, they become distant, uncomfortable, or unnecessarily harsh.

But kindness is not an endorsement of everything someone believes. Respect is not a surrender of your convictions. And friendship does not require two people to agree about every moral or theological question.

In Romans 12:9-10, Paul calls believers to genuine love, affection, and honor toward one another. Later in the chapter, Romans 12:18 encourages believers to live peaceably with others as far as it depends on them. These passages remind us that our responsibility is not merely to know what we believe, but to allow those beliefs to shape how we treat people.

And I believe this is especially important when we are having conversations with people who do not share our convictions.

First Peter 3:15 encourages believers to be prepared to explain the reason for their hope while doing so with gentleness and respect. Colossians 4:5-6 similarly teaches Christians to act wisely toward outsiders and to speak with grace.

These passages do not tell us to hide our faith. They teach us how to communicate it.

You can explain why you hold a traditional understanding of marriage without humiliating someone who disagrees. You can discuss Scripture without turning every conversation into an argument. And you can acknowledge that another person has interpreted the Bible differently without treating them as incapable of thinking or studying for themselves.

At the same time, I think we also need to be honest about what genuine love requires.

If the only reason you are befriending someone is because you hope to eventually change them, then you need to examine whether you are truly seeing that person as a friend or simply as a project.

Imagine discovering that someone you considered a close friend was only spending time with you because they wanted to convince you to become a different person. Wouldn’t that hurt? Wouldn’t you begin questioning whether they actually cared about you or whether their affection depended on eventually getting the result they wanted?

I believe we should ask ourselves the same question when approaching relationships with people who do not share our beliefs.

Can I still treat this person with kindness if they never come to my church? Can I still care about them if they never agree with my understanding of Scripture? Can I celebrate their achievements, support them through difficult circumstances, and treat them with respect without turning every interaction into a religious debate?

If the answer is no, then perhaps what we need to work on is not their willingness to change, but our understanding of love.

First Corinthians 13:4-7 describes love through patience, kindness, and a refusal to behave arrogantly or insist on one’s own way. Although this passage is not specifically about relationships with people outside the faith, its description of love challenges the way we sometimes approach people whose beliefs differ from ours.

And please understand that love does not require pretending we have no convictions. There may be moments when someone sincerely asks what we believe, and we should be able to answer honestly and respectfully.

But honesty does not require cruelty, and a conversation about faith should never become an excuse to pressure or humiliate another person.

Ephesians 4:15 speaks about truth and love together. I believe we should be careful not to emphasize one while neglecting the other.

Because biblical truth does not give us permission to abandon biblical love.

What Should Loving the LGBTQ Community Actually Look Like?

I believe one of the reasons conversations like this sometimes go nowhere is that we spend so much time discussing whether Christians should love gay men, lesbian women, and transgender people that we forget to talk about what that love should actually look like.

Because saying that you love someone is easy. Demonstrating that love through your actions is something entirely different.

For example, imagine that a close friend tells you he is gay. Perhaps he has been afraid to tell you because he knows how strongly you feel about certain biblical teachings. In that moment, you have a choice. You can respond with anger, immediately begin explaining everything you disagree with, or make the conversation entirely about your own discomfort. Or you can recognize that someone has trusted you with something deeply personal and respond with kindness, patience, and a willingness to listen.

Listening does not mean you have abandoned your beliefs. It means you understand that the person in front of you deserves to be heard.

James 1:19 encourages believers to be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. I think that is a verse many of us need to remember, especially when we are discussing subjects that bring out strong emotions.

Sometimes, we are so busy preparing our response that we barely listen to what the other person is saying. We become more interested in defending our position than understanding the human being in front of us.

And I believe that should concern us.

In our churches, loving people should mean refusing to participate in jokes, insults, and demeaning comments about gay men, lesbian women, or transgender people. It should mean correcting the assumption that someone is automatically dangerous, immoral, or unworthy of friendship because of their sexual orientation or gender identity. It should mean creating an environment where people can ask sincere questions about faith without being ridiculed or publicly humiliated.

Ephesians 4:29 teaches believers to speak in ways that build others up rather than corrupt or harm through their words. And Proverbs 18:21 reminds us of the tremendous power our words can carry.

We should take that seriously when speaking about people whose lives differ from ours.

In our families, loving people should mean making sure that our children, siblings, and relatives know that our love for them is not something they have to earn by becoming exactly who we expected them to be. Families may experience real disagreements about faith and sexuality, but those disagreements should never become an excuse for cruelty, threats, or rejection.

And in everyday life, it should mean treating gay coworkers, lesbian neighbors, transgender classmates, and strangers with the same basic dignity we expect for ourselves. We should not assume that every person wants to debate religion with us, nor should we make someone’s sexuality or gender the central subject of every interaction.

Sometimes, loving your neighbor looks like listening to them talk about their difficult week, helping them when they are struggling, celebrating something they worked hard to accomplish, or simply being a trustworthy friend.

Not every interaction needs to become a sermon.

In 1 John 3:18, believers are encouraged not to love merely through words but through actions and truth. I believe that passage speaks directly to the difference between claiming to love people and actually treating them with love.

Because it is easy to say, “I love everybody,” while participating in conversations that humiliate certain groups of people. It is easy to talk about God’s compassion while showing very little compassion toward the people around us.

And when Jesus spoke to His disciples in John 13:34-35, He emphasized that their love for one another would identify them as His followers.

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.

I know this passage is specifically about love among disciples, but it should still cause us to reflect on the kind of witness our relationships and conduct present to the world.

Do people experience patience, gentleness, and kindness in their interactions with us? Do they feel respected even when we disagree? Do our words make it easier for them to ask honest questions, or do they feel that they must hide parts of their lives to avoid being humiliated?

And perhaps most importantly, are we demonstrating the qualities of Christ that we want people to discover?

Micah 6:8 speaks of doing justice, loving kindness, and walking humbly with God. These are not optional qualities that become irrelevant whenever we encounter someone whose beliefs differ from ours. They are part of what it means to live faithfully before Him.

And I also want to emphasize that protecting someone’s dignity is not merely a strategy for eventually persuading them to become Christian. Even if they never share our beliefs, they remain deserving of kindness, safety, and respect.

We should not love people only because we hope they will eventually become like us. We should love them because they are human beings created in God’s image, and because love is what Christ has called us to practice.

Final Thoughts: We Are Called to Represent Christ, Not Replace the Holy Spirit

If there is one thing I want you to take away from this article, it is that we cannot claim to represent a God of love while treating certain people as though they are undeserving of it.

I know that conversations about sexuality and faith can be difficult. I know that Christians hold deeply personal convictions, and I understand that not everyone will reach the same conclusions about what Scripture teaches.

But I do not believe those disagreements give us permission to abandon compassion, humility, or respect.

I believe the Bible teaches a particular understanding of marriage and sexual intimacy, and I am not ashamed to express that conviction. However, I also believe that the same Bible commands me to love my neighbor, exercise humility, show mercy, and treat others with dignity.

I cannot use one biblical teaching as an excuse to disobey another.

If I believe sexual immorality is wrong but excuse hatred, cruelty, pride, and hypocrisy in my own life, then I have misunderstood something important about holiness.

In 1 John 4:20-21, John confronts the contradiction of claiming to love God while hating another person. His teaching challenges us to examine whether the love we profess is actually visible in our relationships.

And I think we need to stop acting as though being harsh makes us more faithful or that being kind means we have compromised our beliefs.

Sometimes, the most Christlike thing we can do is listen to someone without immediately correcting them, show kindness without expecting anything in return, or admit that we do not fully understand another person’s experiences.

And I think we should remember that our own relationship with God is built on grace too.

Ephesians 2:8-9 reminds us that salvation is a gift of God’s grace through faith, not something we earn through our own achievements. None of us can claim to have reached a place where we no longer need His mercy, correction, or patience.

So perhaps we should be a little slower to condemn and a little quicker to listen.

Perhaps we should spend less time trying to prove how much we disagree with people and more time demonstrating the patience, kindness, and humility we claim to have learned from Jesus.

And perhaps, before asking why certain people feel uncomfortable around Christians, we should ask whether our own words and actions have contributed to that discomfort.

I want to end with something that I believe is especially important. We are called to be witnesses of Christ, not substitutes for the Holy Spirit. We can share the gospel, speak honestly about our convictions, and invite people into conversations about faith. But we cannot control another person’s conscience, force them into belief, or produce spiritual conviction through our own efforts.

What we can control is the way we treat them.

We can choose whether our words are kind or cruel. We can choose whether we listen or dismiss. We can choose whether our disagreements become opportunities for thoughtful conversations or excuses to humiliate someone. And we can choose whether the love we preach about is actually visible in the way we live.

So no, I do not believe Christians should hate gay men, lesbian women, transgender people, or anyone else in the LGBTQ community. I believe we should treat them with the same dignity, kindness, compassion, and respect we are called to extend to everyone.

And whether someone agrees with our beliefs or not, they should never have to wonder whether they deserve to be treated as a human being.

Because standing firmly on biblical truth should never require us to abandon biblical love. And if we genuinely want people to know the Jesus we proclaim, then the way we treat them should reflect the love He has taught us to show.